This post is dedicated to Purity, who says it like she sees it. I wish she was here to help me this week.
This has been an odd week. We only had four days of school and then the three day weekend. I spent Thursday night relaxing, doing laundry and watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. On Friday, I cleaned the house and did the weekly shopping. Friday night, was different. I drove to temple, as I sometimes do. But on my way, I saw a woman walking all alone down the middle of a dark and lonely side street. I doubled back and drove up along side of her…
“Are you ok?” I asked her.
“No,” she said. “I need a ride.”
I know it was not the smartest thing to do. She could have hurt me or killed me. But something told me to help her. I just could not drive past her and pretend I hadn’t seen her walking straight down the middle of the street by herself.
I drove her to her home to Apple Valley and dropped her off. She lived very near to where my nieces live. She hugged me good bye and told me I would be blessed for helping her. I wasn’t hoping for anything more than to get on with my evening without getting hurt. She got out of the car and walked into her driveway.
On the way back to temple, I thought about what I had done. I was afraid to do what I did, but I was not comfortable leaving her to her own devices. I faced the fear of what she could do to hurt me and I embraced the experience.
Honestly, I’m not sure I’d do it again. But it helps me see that fear is something that we can control. It’s a thought. Sometimes, it’s a thought that keeps you from harm. But sometimes, its a thought that gets in your way and this keeps you from being everything you want to be.
Thoughts full of fear can get you in all kinds trouble…
“If I leave my boyfriend, I might never find another I love as much.”
“If I tell my children I’m sorry, they may respect me less.”
If I admit that I’m addicted to ______________, I may have to deal with the world without it.
Today, on my way to the Riverside Memorial Cemetery, I listened to a webinar by Debi and Dr. Rob Maldonado. They both explained that the psyche has TWO parts: The Ego and The True Self. The Ego is always trying to keep you protected and safe. The true self is pushing you forward to grow and be more in this world. I realized after listening to Debi explain it again that THIS was why I picked up that lady last night. I wanted to be more than some random person who drives by a fellow human being and chooses not to help them. Give it a listen.
I understand that soldiers in the battlefield must face their fear of the foe coming towards them. Often they do this by starting an offensive. They must summon up their courage to go out and meet their enemy. Many soldiers know they may never come back. But they repeatedly walk into battle. On this Veteran’s Day, I am even more grateful that they’ve found the courage to move beyond their egos and face a higher calling. They embrace the conflict. And if they return from war, they often struggle with post traumatic stress syndrome. They are, essentially addicted to combat.
Regular folks deal with this too if they’ve found themselves in traumatic situations.
Knowing this, it’s funny to suggest that one should try to embrace conflict.
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Someone will tell you a truth that is uncomfortable to hear. True.
I’m not suggesting that you go out and start fist fights. But, I am telling you that I am going to do an experiment. For one week, I’m going to concentrate on expanding myself into experiences rather than allowing myself to retreat within. I won’t be picking up any more stray ladies. But I want to challenge myself to do more tough moments.
In the meantime, your loving cosmic VJ is sending out this tribute to Veterans everywhere. “All lost some. Some lost all.”